The Super Bowl™ exposes millions of people to the sport of American football each year, inspiring many people to play this brutal game. It provides an opportunity for people who have never heard of this quirky sport to learn a little more about it. I know, I don’t understand it either. The rules are so weird, and there’s this whole new language to learn. Quarterback? Free safety? Tebowing? What do these things mean?

You can imagine how I felt when a curling commercial was aired; it was a refreshing break from the madness that is football. This particular commercial was trying to coerce viewers into purchasing some type of alcoholic beverage. I didn’t pay much attention to that… because I was starstruck. There, in high definition, was Sean “Puffy” Combs, delivering what was surely the deciding stone in a championship match. My “Puff Daddy” was playing for Team USA, and it was up to him to finish off the beatdown of Team Canada with a draw to the button.

Now, if you’re at all familiar with Mr. Combs, you may recollect that he changes vocations and nicknames like nobody’s business. One minute he’s a hip hop star, the next he’s selling clothes and perfume. One minute he’s “Puffy,” and then next he’s “P-Diddy.” Well, we can now add one more facet to the gem that is Sean Combs — This man can curl in a way that NO ONE else in the history of the game has ever been able to curl. Obviously, somewhere along the way, “Curl Daddy” realized that in order for his shot to get to the button, the stone would need to change course dramatically. Sweeping alone would not get this job done. Watch this commercial closely, and you’ll notice that Sean “Puffy Curly Daddy” Combs begins his delivery with an in-turn, but the shot finishes with an out-turn. We seem to hear him yell “MOVE!” This command tells his sweepers (or the stone itself!) to change turns half way down the ice! Amazing! This chameleon of a man has done it again! From rapper to producer, from in-turn thrower to out-turn thrower!

Also worth noting in this commercial is that, apparently, simultaneously on the adjacent sheet, Team Diddy (DDY) is facing team China (CHN), and he’s winning there, too!

I can’t wait to see what he does next, but I certainly don’t look forward to facing this skip on the ice! He’s devastating!

It’s been a fantastic week, and we can’t express enough enthusiasm and appreciation at the VOLUNTEER officials who came from all over the country… the VOLUNTEER ice crew that came from far and near… all the other VOLUNTEERS who made this event possible… and, of course, to all the fantastic, fun, good-spirited athletes that were at the center of this all… We have truly enjoyed hosting you this week, and look forward to seeing you again… on the ice! Thank you! Great curling!

With that, we offer you the final edition of The Early Draw, and a link to the live web stream of the final matches: ladies at 10 AM EST, and men at 3 PM EST.

http://curling.teamusa.org/live.html

On the women’s side, Team Brown awaits the winner of the semifinal match between Team Lank and Team Wright.

On the men’s side, Team Fenson awaits the winner of the semifinal match between Team Farbelow and Team Stevens.

The women’s final will begin at 10 a.m. and the men’s final will begin at 3 p.m. on Saturday, March 13. It’s been a FANTASTIC week, and everyone seems to agree that Kalamazoo has done a great job hosting this event. If you haven’t been able to come down to Wings Stadium to enjoy the atmosphere and meet this huge bunch of talented and friendly people… then you’ll have to do the next best thing, which is to watch the finals, live… on the web.

Curling will always be the butt of jokes. Not much we can do about that. So maybe the best spin we can put on yesterday’s Top Ten list from the Late Show with David Letterman is that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Maybe people that saw his Top Ten list will be slightly intrigued… I don’t know… but here it is for you to enjoy or rebel against.

[UPDATE] Simpsons win gold!!

[UPDATE 2] Spoiler alert!

[UPDATE 3] D’oh!

[UPDATE 4] Video

Video link